Nettelblad

skrivande, böcker, resor. och tre små barn.

Helsingforshistorier, del 2: Mormor Nettelblad

 
Vad vi gör i Helsingfors?
Promenerar.
 
Kring Tölöviken i duggregn. På Skatudden med solen nästan rakt över våra huvuden och svett som fuktar håret längs tinningarna. Längs Mannerheimvägen med turister som vänder sig om efter barnen och finlandssvenska kulturdamer i Marimekko som ler stort åt ungarna men ännu större åt oss när de ser vad de tror är ett par välartade lesbiska tvåbarnsmorsor. Alla tror att vi är ett lesbiskt par i den här staden. Kanske för att barnen åker i samma barnvagn. Kanske är det något med vårt planlösa strosande, det oansträngda i vårt umgänge. Som ett par som promenerat många dagar tillsammans. Inte som vänner som måste kasta sig över tiden, fånga in den tillsammans.
 
Ibland ökar vi på takten. Jagar genom ett köpcentrum efter lämplig lokal för att åtgärda en blöjläckagekatastrof. Ibland står vi hopkurade under ett träd med taktjockt lövverk för att gömma oss från ett spöregn.
Ofta talar vi.
Ofta är vi tysta.
 
Och jag blir mormor Nettelblad.
 
 
Mormor Nettelblad är som gamla tiders och alla filmstereotypers äldre kvinna.
En självutnämnd räddaren-i-nöden med massiv barnvana. Kastar sig över varje möjlighet att ta över en unge så att en morsa kan få lite livsrum.
Kombinerar med livsvisdomar. Inga käcka råd om blöjsort eller ersättningsblandande från just den här mormodern.
Men alla reflektioner hon någonsin haft om föräldraskapet.
 
“Vi lever i en tid där barn inte är en självklar del av livet utan ett aktivt val”, säger mormor Nettelblad med en niomånaders skumpande på höften och år efter år av barnavyssjande i blodet och nostalgins alla virvlar i huvudet.
“Ett självförverkligande. Och det driver konsumtion, det är klart att det gör, alla barnprylsproducenterna skrattar hela vägen till banken. För om ens barn är en del av ens identitet, hur ska de då kunna använda någon annan unges avlagda grejer?
De grejerna är ju en del av någon annans självförverkligande familjeskapande.
Det ska vara rätt färg, rätt inriktning, rätt berättelse om varumärket.
Men det är ju bara grejer som en unge ska ha.”
 
I famnen, i händerna medan han övar på att gå.

Visserligen har jag med mig en egen unge också, men det är skillnad på att vara tre år och att vara nio månader. Framförallt om treåringen är Habanerobebisen.
Sköter sig själv om bara äventyret är tillräckligt stimulerande. Skickar slängkyssar till turisterna från sin plats i vagnen som om hon vore en kunglighet i en kortege de alla väntat på.
Fäller själv ned vagnsufletten när hon är trött och vill sova en stund.
 
“De säger att i studier har man låtit föräldrar skatta hur lyckliga de är”, säger mormor Nettelblad. “Och sedan jämfört det med hur lyckliga de skattar sig vid enskilda tidpunkter över en dag. Då ser man att föräldrarna tycker de är lyckliga, men frågar man dem vid de här olika tidpunkterna är de mycket olyckligare än vad de sagt.
Man tar det som ett bevis för att det finns en myt om att föräldraskapet ska göra oss lyckliga. Men kan man verkligen beräkna äkta lycka genom att summera enskilda ögonblick i vårt liv? Handlar inte lycka också om meningsfullhet? Kan det inte byggas av två komponenter – meningsfullheten och njutningskickar i enskilda ögonblick, och därför är föräldrarna lyckliga även om de enskilda ögonblickens njutning är låg?”
 
Mormor Nettelblad, ibland går hon överstyr.
Vad ska nu en vän svara på sådana utläggning.
Vad ska nu någon svara på någon som sprider sitt föräldraskaps visdomar medan hon kidnappar ens bebis.
 
Men min vän har varit med när jag babblat förut. Hon kan göra det som är klokast.
Luta sig bak, dricka sin kaffe, och njuta av det verkligt viktiga i situationen.
Att just nu är det någon annan som kånkar på bebisen.
 
 
Mer Helsingforshistorier:
 

Föregående

Ögonblick i juli

Nästa

Vykort från Åland, juli

25 kommentarer

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