En som beter sig som om livet bara är kakor som väntar på att ätas, föräldraargument som väntar på att bekämpas, äventyr som väntar på att levas.
Som jag träffade första gången flera timmar efter att hon fötts.
Som kastades in i en familj i en tid av vårt liv när jag var tvungen att göra så många kompromisser. Inte kunde göra allt för henne som jag borde, för att det fanns annat som jag måste.
Att hon skulle lära sig om livet genom filmer av kinderägg som sakta öppnas. Att hennes mantra hon muttrar medan hon traskar genom huset skulle vara open, ooopen, ooooopen SURPRISE!
Allt sorgesamt i den där ungen skulle jag trott berodde på hur dramatiskt det var, precis när hon kom.
Det är klart att vi lever i en musikal.
Det är klart att den musikalen mestadels sjungs till Finger-Family-melodin.
hur man hittar sitt sätt att ta plats, även om man var sisten in och det redan var rätt trångt. Genom att lära sig att chocka sina syskon, till exempel. Att göra det rebelliska de inte hade vågat.
Som när vi ligger i sängen om kvällen, alla ungar ska sova, och var och en i familjen får berätta om sin dag. Sexåringen pratar om kompisar och vad man ska göra om det kommer tjuvar till huset (man måste ringa 112, säga ursäkta vi har en tjuv i vårt hus!). Fyraåringen berättar om motorcyklar, leksaksaffärsrån och andra saker som över huvud taget aldrig har hänt.
Men sedan minns jag så snabbt den tvååring jag en gång hade som inte var sådan.
Som var en tvååring som vi var så oroliga över för allt han inte kunde säga, som var så frustrerad av sin egen oförmåga att kommunicera.
Som kanske är ytterligare ett tecken på något jag famlar efter i de här reflektionerna: att ibland kanske det inte spelar så stor roll vad man gör med sina ungar. Att allt vi gör kanske inte är det som skapar ungarna. Att de har något inneboende som finns där och som man får möta.
Att de blir mest som de blir oavsett vad jag gör (så länge det jag gör är med kärlek och rimlighet).
Att detta med att vara förälder handlar inte så mycket om att faktiskt skapa en människa. Att det mycket om att förvalta precis den unge man fått.
Han, som vi oroade och oroar oss så mycket för.
Mumlar i hennes öra, rösten darrig av undertryckt skratt:
”Vem är du?”
Konstpaus.
”I am Poopie.”
De sköter ju varandra.
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