Det viktigaste jag tar med mig från 2016 är betydelsen av goda grannar.
(Och goda föräldrar, och svärföräldrar, men det är ju inget nytt, deras betydelse har varit otvivelaktig så många år nu.)
För det finns tider när det här året varit som att vandra genom ett gyttjigt kärr. Att leran suger fast i skorna, vattnet sipprar in tills tårna är iskalla, och ändå är det värsta inte kylan, eller fukten – det är känslan av att hur man än går och går kommer man aldrig framåt.
Trots allt. Trots att detta på så många sätt var ett år där allting hände.
Jag tog läkarexamen och köpte hus. Bytte hemstad och hemland. Började arbeta som läkare. Började skriva för Läkartidningen, mitt största och roligaste skrivjobb hittills. Jag träffade så många nya människor att jag slutat att räkna. Jag lärde mig att älska chili och hur mycket roligare jag tycker det är att lyfta tungt än att springa långt.
Och det fanns julikvällar, augustimorgnar, oktoberförmiddagar då glasspinnar smakade ljuvligt och havet doftade så salt och luften var klar och lätt att andas och livet var överväldigande och vidunderligt.
Men nog var det inte ett år som dominerades av den sortens ögonblick.
Kanske var det just händelserikedomen som gjorde det så tungrott, eller så tungklafsat om vi ska fortsätta på kärrliknelsen. Inga stora hemska saker hände men många små saker naggade mig i kanten. Mitt jobb var underbart men omöjligt på samma gång. Jag älskade det men var kompetensmässigt otillräcklig. Jag kände mig ofta väldigt ensam. På jobbet, i min egen vardag. Jag kände mig många gånger som att det inte fanns någonstans där jag kunde få göra något riktigt bra, bara en massa situationer där jag var fullkomligt halvdan.
Jag antar att sådant kan suga musten ur de flesta, ur den bästa.
(Och dessutom hann jag aldrig skriva. Inget får mig att skrumpna som att vara låst utan ord.)
Och just därför. I det gråaste november, i de tyngsta dagarna, när fukten kryper under skinnet och stressen gnager hål i själen.
Då behöver man folk man kan klampa in till. Som inte bryr sig om man är lerig om kläderna, frusen om tårna, sliten i huvudet.
Man vill kunna korsa gatan, hamna i någons kök, prata om vad man vill utan att överväldigas av självmedvetenhet och spritsa glasyr i alla regnbågens färger på plåt efter plåt med pepparkakor.
Och veta att den prestationen är god nog.
Så nu när det nya året börjat. Och så mycket nytt också väntar (annat arbete, annan hemmasituation, andra möjligheter till det egna skrivandet). Då hoppas jag att detta är vad jag minns, när jag tänker tillbaka på 2016: alla ögonblick av djup och varm och mänsklig kontakt. Och det är vad jag också önskar mig mer av, mest av allt.
För är det inte just genom den känslan, egentligen, just genom den känslan som man vet att man verkligen är en människa och inte bara en varelse som råkar vara vid liv.
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