Vad jag gör i november?
Knyter samman lösa trådar.
Avslutar sådant som är färdigt, smakar på sådant som är nytt.
Vi hörs i slutet av november, då händer det grejer, skrev jag för ett tag sedan.
Och lämnade en ofrivillig cliffhanger, den där sortens ledtråd folk slänger ut sig på internet när de ska ge ut böcker, föda barn, flytta till Paris.
Inte ska ju göra något sådant, inte nu.
Men ibland är det när det händer grejer mer ett sinnestillstånd än en livsmilstolpe.
Ibland är händer grejer att man får göra något man vill, på sättet man vill, i en tillvaro man skapat.
I slutet av november blir jag äntligen klar med min AT-tjänstgöring. De där åren efter läkarexamen då man visserligen jobbar, men regler och formaliteter bestämmer var och hur och hur mycket man kan vara ledig.
Just nu pluggar jag inför den tenta som avslutar hela tjänstgöringen. Efter det är tiden min. Jag kan styra den som jag vill ha den.
Jag ska börja med tre månader av att göra annat än läkarjobb. Av att skriva mer och hänga mer med mina barn. Att få göra skrivjobb dagtid istället för helgkvällar. Av att laga middag i lugn och ro och fylla diskmaskinen lite oftare. Av att fotografera mer och se om jag någonsin kan lära mig att själv skapa den sortens bilder jag vill ha.
Av att ge den här bloggen en egen domän istället för att ligga på blogg.se, bygga en sida som är precis som jag vill ha den och lägga ut många fler texter här som är precis vad jag ville berätta.
Ibland, de här senaste åren, har det känts som om jag aldrig skulle nå den här friheten i mitt liv.
Och nu är det plötsligt bara dagar kvar.
Sedan ska jag ge mig ut och njuta av novemberljuset, decemberljuset, januariljuset, februariljuset.
Bara för att jag vet att jag kan.
(Bild från Amy Shamblen på Unsplash)
35 Comments
Gratulerar! De där tre månaderna låter som en ypperlig plan!
Åh vad härligt, vilken känsla att närma sig tillvaron så som man vill att den ska vara! Grattis!
"Men ibland är det när det händer grejer mer ett sinnestillstånd än en livsmilstolpe" – Så sant som det är sagt. Låter fint med tid till annat. Inspireras och längtar med dig!
Stort grattis till de avklarade AT-åren och lycka till med tentan! Jag ser såklart framemot att följa <3
Jag imponeras av dig! Bra jäkla jobbat. Jag håller tummarna för tentan och ser fram emot att få höra mer av dig efter det. Det låter verkligen som att tiden blir ljusare, både faktiskt och bildligt talat.
Vad härligt det låter! Ska bli fint att följa dig i din nya, friare tillvaro. Lycka till!
Låter som ett bra val. Bara göra det man mår bra av och njuta av småbarnstiden. Ja, det måste man komma ihåg att göra så att man inte ångrar det sedan! 🙂
/V
http://fondofhome.blogg.se – från kråkbo till husdröm
[…] Brukar låna om den här boken när jag behöver våga slå mig loss i mitt eget skrivande. (Och den nördiga Nettelblad-läsaren kan notera hur jag parafraserat inledningsmeningen ni ser på bilden från boken i både det här inlägget om en Helsingforsresa och det här inlägget om att få tid för sitt skrivande). […]
[…] du någon stor förändring? Blev klar med min AT-tjänstgöring vilket gör att jag kan styra över min tid på ett sätt jag velat länge. Men det hände alldeles nyss, jag tror inte jag har fattat än vad […]
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