Ambitioner

 
 
Jag vill bli uppslukad av böckerna igen. Fastna i andra världar i stället för jämförelsen med andra. Längta efter en bok när jag inte läser den.
Jag vill läsa om böcker med en tydlig ton, som låtit mina tankar formas av någon annas språk: Fyrväktaren av Jeanette Winterson. Diva av Monika Fagerholm. Jag vet allt det här av Annika Paldanius. Alltings början av Karolina Ramqvist. Blonde av Joyce Carol Oates. Schopenhauer’s telescope av Gerard Donovan.
 
Jag vill hitta nya berättelser som ger mig samma sak.
 
 
 

 
 
Jag vill vara den mamma jag borde vara och inte den jag är.
Den som alla dessa fina ungar förtjänar.
Stadig och enkel, självuppoffrande men aldrig självömkande.
Den som aldrig skulle strunta i att torka smulorna från bordet för att hinna skriva en text.
 
Den som aldrig har tankarna på annat håll för att tankar flyger i tusen riktningar bara man släpper dem fria,
den som är scenbakgrunden för barnens föreställning, inte en egen himla show.
Någon som alltid håller handen och lyssnar med hela sin varelse
som aldrig glömmer
att packa mössan
till dagis.

 
 

 
Jag vill skriva.
För att det är vad jag alltid gjorde, vad jag alltid har gjort –
i bilen på bussen om natten om somrarna långa ändlösa julidagar på altanen i mitt barndomshem när jag försökte skriva romaner medan mina jämnåriga upptäckte ungdomen
 
för att det gick månader ibland, en gång ett år, när jag inte skrev.
Och när orden väl kom ut var de en explosion. Stjärnfall och kometer och raketer och evigheter, det var klyschor på hög, berättelserna stockade sig, kom ut i fragment, de ville välla ut allihop på en och samma gång.
Det var dåliga texter, för orden var famlande och ovana, och varje gång tänkte jag:
nästa gång väntar jag inte så länge igen.
 
 
 
Och jag vill känna att det är tillräckligt.
Att det räcker med viljan och ambitionen.
Att man kan få sikta mot stjärnorna och landa i trädtopparna utan att känna att det är en raket som kraschat.
 
Att få strunta i det där de säger, att nära skjuter ingen hare,
få tänka att
kanske måste haren inte dö.

Föregående

Liv

Nästa

25

29 kommentarer

  1. Dina texter träffar mig alltid på ett alldeles speciellt sätt. Tack för att du skriver. <3 (om det är något en får skriva på en text om att inte skriva, men jag tror du förstår vad jag menar)

  2. Hej, va fint att ha hittat hit. En alldeles speciell och fin blogg du har!

  3. Vad fint du skriver! Du har verkligen gåvan att kunna skriva på ett intresseväckande sätt. Fortsätt att skriva.

  4. Thanks for every one of your work on this site. My mum takes pleasure in doing internet research and it’s really easy to understand why. My spouse and i learn all about the lively means you make both useful and interesting solutions by means of this blog and foster contribution from website visitors on this issue so our child is undoubtedly discovering a great deal. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the year. You’re the one conducting a great job.

  5. A lot of thanks for all of the hard work on this site. Kate loves engaging in investigation and it’s really obvious why. Many of us learn all about the lively form you give vital suggestions on the web site and therefore increase contribution from other individuals about this theme and our own princess is actually discovering a whole lot. Take advantage of the remaining portion of the new year. You are always carrying out a tremendous job.

  6. I actually wanted to develop a simple note to appreciate you for all of the wonderful guides you are posting on this site. My extended internet search has finally been compensated with extremely good facts and techniques to go over with my relatives. I would suppose that we readers are truly blessed to live in a wonderful place with very many brilliant people with great advice. I feel very privileged to have encountered your entire website and look forward to some more amazing minutes reading here. Thanks again for everything.

  7. I simply wished to thank you very much once more. I am not sure the things I could possibly have tried in the absence of the entire creative ideas contributed by you relating to my topic. It had become a very frustrating case in my position, nevertheless taking note of the very professional avenue you treated the issue forced me to jump with happiness. I am happy for the advice and in addition hope you really know what a powerful job you’re providing training other individuals through the use of your blog post. Most likely you have never met any of us.

  8. My husband and i have been excited Peter could round up his preliminary research because of the precious recommendations he gained when using the weblog. It is now and again perplexing to just happen to be releasing tips and hints which often people may have been making money from. We figure out we need the blog owner to thank for this. The main illustrations you’ve made, the simple blog menu, the friendships you will aid to foster – it is everything impressive, and it’s helping our son and our family feel that this issue is awesome, which is truly mandatory. Many thanks for everything!

  9. I would like to convey my passion for your generosity giving support to women who should have help with this important concern. Your personal dedication to getting the solution around ended up being really productive and have regularly helped ladies like me to attain their targets. Your entire useful key points implies so much a person like me and substantially more to my mates. Thanks a lot; from everyone of us.

  10. I precisely wished to say thanks once more. I’m not certain the things I would have used in the absence of the entire secrets shared by you on my industry. It actually was a very traumatic matter in my circumstances, however , considering the specialized fashion you solved the issue made me to leap over joy. Now i am thankful for the work and even sincerely hope you are aware of a great job you’re carrying out teaching most people using a web site. I am certain you haven’t come across any of us.

  11. I must convey my admiration for your kindness in support of all those that really need assistance with this important idea. Your special dedication to passing the message all over appeared to be quite functional and have specifically encouraged regular people much like me to reach their aims. Your informative recommendations signifies a whole lot a person like me and far more to my office colleagues. Many thanks; from all of us.

  12. I simply wanted to write a small remark so as to express gratitude to you for all the lovely concepts you are giving at this website. My long internet investigation has at the end of the day been paid with pleasant concept to write about with my friends and classmates. I ’d express that we website visitors actually are quite blessed to exist in a very good website with many awesome people with insightful basics. I feel extremely fortunate to have used the web pages and look forward to many more exciting times reading here. Thanks a lot once again for all the details.

  13. I must express my thanks to this writer for rescuing me from this setting. Just after looking throughout the world wide web and seeing strategies that were not helpful, I assumed my life was done. Living without the solutions to the issues you’ve solved by means of your blog post is a serious case, as well as the kind that would have in a wrong way affected my entire career if I had not discovered your web site. Your know-how and kindness in playing with all areas was crucial. I am not sure what I would have done if I had not come upon such a step like this. I can also at this moment relish my future. Thank you so much for this high quality and amazing guide. I won’t think twice to propose the website to any person who requires guidelines on this topic.

  14. I’m also writing to make you be aware of what a nice encounter my wife’s child gained browsing your blog. She mastered a lot of pieces, which included what it is like to have an amazing giving character to let many more without problems completely grasp chosen extremely tough matters. You truly surpassed our own expected results. I appreciate you for presenting the good, safe, educational and even cool thoughts on that topic to Sandra.

  15. I in addition to my pals appeared to be analyzing the great guidelines located on your site while all of a sudden I had a horrible suspicion I had not thanked the website owner for those secrets. These women were definitely as a result glad to study all of them and have now really been tapping into those things. Appreciation for indeed being considerably kind as well as for picking out these kinds of cool information millions of individuals are really wanting to be informed on. My honest regret for not saying thanks to sooner.

  16. I simply wanted to compose a small note to say thanks to you for some of the fantastic points you are giving out here. My incredibly long internet look up has at the end of the day been honored with good quality tips to go over with my close friends. I would assert that we site visitors actually are very much fortunate to dwell in a really good site with very many perfect people with interesting secrets. I feel quite privileged to have discovered the web pages and look forward to really more thrilling minutes reading here. Thanks once again for a lot of things.

  17. Needed to post you this little bit of word to give many thanks over again for your personal awesome concepts you have shown above. It is simply strangely open-handed with people like you giving extensively what exactly numerous people could have distributed for an electronic book to make some profit for their own end, even more so considering that you might have tried it in the event you desired. The pointers as well acted like the good way to fully grasp other people have a similar passion much like my own to realize a little more around this problem. Certainly there are millions of more pleasurable moments in the future for individuals that start reading your website.

  18. I precisely needed to appreciate you yet again. I do not know the things that I would’ve gone through in the absence of the actual creative ideas shared by you about such problem. It was actually the frightening matter in my view, however , being able to see this professional mode you processed the issue took me to weep for fulfillment. I’m just happy for your service and as well , believe you really know what a great job that you are getting into educating the others through a web site. I am sure you have never met all of us.

  19. My husband and i got relieved Louis could deal with his web research with the precious recommendations he obtained when using the web page. It is now and again perplexing to just find yourself giving out guidelines the others could have been selling. And we all fully understand we’ve got you to be grateful to because of that. All the illustrations you made, the straightforward blog menu, the friendships you help to promote – it’s most extraordinary, and it’s really helping our son and us consider that this matter is awesome, and that is extremely serious. Thanks for all!

  20. I precisely needed to thank you so much once again. I’m not certain the things that I might have undertaken without the entire ways provided by you directly on this theme. It had become a real terrifying situation for me, but taking a look at this well-written approach you solved it took me to jump with fulfillment. Extremely happy for the work and in addition pray you know what a great job you are always providing training other individuals through the use of your site. Probably you have never got to know any of us.

  21. I must express some thanks to this writer just for bailing me out of this type of scenario. As a result of exploring throughout the search engines and getting notions which were not pleasant, I believed my life was gone. Being alive minus the answers to the problems you have resolved by means of this guide is a critical case, and ones that would have negatively damaged my career if I hadn’t noticed your blog. Your main talents and kindness in playing with everything was vital. I am not sure what I would’ve done if I had not encountered such a thing like this. I can also now look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time so much for the impressive and result oriented help. I will not hesitate to recommend your web page to anybody who should get care on this problem.

  22. My spouse and i got now cheerful that Emmanuel could deal with his research through your precious recommendations he gained while using the weblog. It’s not at all simplistic just to find yourself giving freely instructions which other people could have been making money from. And we also acknowledge we have you to give thanks to for this. All of the explanations you’ve made, the straightforward web site menu, the relationships you can give support to create – it’s got all extraordinary, and it’s leading our son and the family recognize that this subject is amusing, which is certainly unbelievably serious. Thank you for all the pieces!

  23. I happen to be commenting to make you know what a remarkable experience my friend’s daughter gained checking the blog. She mastered plenty of details, not to mention what it’s like to possess an amazing teaching nature to make many more really easily completely grasp specific hard to do subject matter. You undoubtedly did more than visitors’ expected results. Many thanks for showing these effective, trusted, informative not to mention fun tips about the topic to Jane.

  24. I want to convey my affection for your generosity supporting men and women that must have help with that niche. Your personal commitment to passing the solution across appeared to be remarkably insightful and have made somebody much like me to get to their objectives. Your new valuable guidelines signifies a great deal to me and substantially more to my mates. Warm regards; from all of us.

  25. I wish to get across my love for your kindness supporting individuals that absolutely need assistance with your content. Your very own dedication to getting the solution throughout had been quite practical and has always permitted folks like me to arrive at their goals. This important guidelines implies much a person like me and far more to my fellow workers. Best wishes; from all of us.

  26. I would like to show my passion for your generosity giving support to those individuals that have the need for help with the subject. Your real dedication to getting the solution all around came to be definitely productive and has always empowered women like me to achieve their desired goals. This interesting guide can mean much to me and much more to my office colleagues. Warm regards; from everyone of us.

  27. My spouse and i were now joyous that Peter managed to deal with his homework through your precious recommendations he gained out of your weblog. It’s not at all simplistic to simply continually be giving for free key points that many some others could have been making money from. Therefore we fully understand we have you to appreciate for that. The specific explanations you made, the straightforward blog menu, the relationships you assist to foster – it’s got most fantastic, and it’s really leading our son and us believe that the situation is awesome, which is wonderfully important. Many thanks for all the pieces!

  28. I am also commenting to let you understand what a superb encounter my cousin’s daughter obtained going through your site. She mastered some details, which include what it’s like to possess an excellent teaching character to let other folks easily grasp specified impossible things. You undoubtedly exceeded readers’ expected results. Thanks for churning out those great, healthy, revealing and as well as unique thoughts on your topic to Julie.

Kommentarsfunktionen är avstängd.

Driven av WordPress & Tema av Anders Norén