Mellan fingrarna

 

Andedräkt mot min kind, den pustande sucken när någon somnar, fingrar som slingrar varje test av mitt hår.
Lukten av småbarnshuvud, rundkinder under fingertopparna, pussläppar mot nästippen.  
Hemligheter i örat, viskningar om natten – mamma jag är rädd, mamma jag är ensam, mamma jag tror jag är kär.

Lekparken en söndag, kaffet blev för starkt, bränner i halsen, men gräset doftar färskt, majfåglar låter som majfåglar gör.
Hur många vårar har jag inte hört majfåglar sjunga.
Hur många gånger har jag inte hört dem, och ändå kunnat svära på att jag aldrig hört något så vackert förut.

Solen dränker allt, speglar sig i vattnet tills allt smälter samman, himmel som hav.
Ögonblicken faller mellan fingrarna.
Jag längtar så starkt att jag glömmer efter vad, älskar så hårt att jag inte får fram det, räknar min tid tills den plötsligt har passerat.

Det här är våren 2017.
Aldrig kommer den igen.

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Melankolikerna

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