Du är tre och ett halvt år gammal, och hela ditt liv har du varit sparsam med orden. Som bebis satt du så tyst i vagnen. Betraktade världen med stora, mörka ögon. När du blev större fanns en tid då du behövde orden och inte hittade dem. När du inte kunde formulera vad du behövde.
Och sedan, när du lärde dig att säga det mesta, hittade man dig fortfarande ofta i ett hörn, under ett täcke, bakom en syster. Uppslukad av egen verksamhet. Sparsam med orden.
Och med samma ögon, de stora, mörka. Långa ögonfransar, kraftiga ögonbryn att rynka vid oförrätter, blicken som kan fyllas med melankoli.
En blick som bedårade vem som helst.
Men nu. Äntligen börjar meningarna flöda. Konversationerna som kommer på ditt initiativ, de egna berättelserna.
Det är fascinerande och välformulerat och ljuvligt.
Bara det att inte ett ord är sant.
”Har de varit snälla mot dig på dagiset idag?”, frågar jag dig kanske.
Melankolin i din blick. Hur en tre och ett halvtårings kropp kan kura ihop sig i lidande och sorg.
”Nej.”, säger du.
Hur ett mammahjärta kan skrumpna sönder av oro (det berättade de aldrig på läkarutbildningen).
”Men älskling, vem har varit dum?”
En hulkning.
”Spiderman.”
Hur en mammakropp kan vara nära att sprängas av undertryckt skratt när man ska ta en allvarlig unge på lika stort allvar.
”Men vad gjorde han?”
De djupa suckarna, de mörka ögonen, händerna som slår ut i en uppgiven gest. Intensiteten i blicken, som om detta är sanningens minut.
”Spiderman slår alla barn.”
”Ojdå. Men vad gör du då?”
Kroppen som lyfts, huvudet hålls stolt, för det är klimax på historien, deus ex machina och vändningen i ett grekiskt drama, det finns inget som är så starkt som slutet på en välberättad historia.
”Jag, jag flyger. Jag flyger HÖGT upp i luften. Jag flyger på Spiderman. Jag slår Spiderman i ansiktet.”
Superman och Hulken kastar boll i vårt kök. En röd gummybear serverar dig yoghurt och flingor. Dagisfröken har tagit med alla barnen i en båt, långt ut på stora vida havet. En brandbil körde iväg med dig om natten.
Jag frågar dig:
”Men är det verkligen sant, allt det här du berättar?”
Du funderar. Tindrar i mörka ögonen. Ler så din enda skrattgrop djupnar.
”Kanske”, säger du, ”är det sant. Och kanske, det är lek.”
Och jag förstår ju, vännen. Jag vet ju precis.
Hur roligt det är att leka berättelser.
Hur verklig fiktionen kan kännas.
Hur fiktiv verkligheten kan vara.
41 Comments
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5) bindande stavning
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