Kanske talar jag om dig för sällan.
Mitt andra decemberbarn, min älskade son. Du som för tre år sedan idag var en nyföding med livsfarligt långa naglar och en stor kalufs med hår, du som nu förvandlats till ett riktigt barn. En ansvarsfull storebror, en lyssnande ihärdig lillebror. Emellanåt en buse av rang.
Framförallt ett alldeles eget exemplar. Något excentriskt, tankfullt, med en inre värld som jag vet att jag fortfarande bara skrapar på ytan till.
Sådant jag inte hittar orden för. Kanske talar jag mer sällan om dig än dina systrar, därför.
De roligaste sakerna du gör kommer inte som oneliners, en kort och kärnfull historia. De kommer som ett helhetspaket, i hela ditt varande. Man måste träffa D. för att förstå D., det är inget man kan greppa hur många detaljer jag än skulle kunna återge.
Som alla dina känslor, alla nyanser av dina känslor, de är många och all over the place och ibland för stora och avancerade för den lilla kroppen. Som att du kan bli kränkt, och sårad, och vara långsint, som om du vore tjugo år äldre.Hur du kan imitera andra (exempelvis din lillasyster) i ett skådespel som verkligen gör dig till vår lilla dramatiker.Hur du bygger ett konstverk av klossar och sedan slår sönder det för att i nästa sekund bygga ett nytt i helt andra riktningar och du är kung över dina klossar, dina konstruktioner, och ditt fokus då är oslagbart. Man blir avundsjuk på ditt flow bara av att betrakta dig.
Hur omöjlig du kan vara att väcka om du somnat på dagen och hur arg du blir när man försöker väcka dig då och hur lätt du somnar om, ungefär som din morbror brukade vara (som din morbror fortfarande är). Och jag betraktar ditt sömndruckna (och sårade) ansikte och överväldigas av hur mycket av mig som finns i dig.
Hur du spatserar – verkligen spankulerar – genom huset med händerna på ryggen som en liten gubbe medan du tänker.
Hur dina fingrar alltid fastnar i någons hår.
Hur omöjlig du är att fånga.
Du är summan av alla de där detaljerna och många fler, och ändå kan jag inte förklara dig i ett nötskal.
Det finns inget D. i ett nötskal, på det viset.
Det närmaste jag kommer är det här: du är så väldigt mycket som jag, tror jag. Fast ibland undrar jag om jag ens har någon aning.
Min treåring, stora pojken, grattis på födelsedagen.
Helt enkelt: jag talar om dig för sällan för att jag inte kan fånga dig i ord. Det är en märklig känsla för någon som ägnat hela sitt liv åt att skriva.
Du är en alldeles egen smak, ett veritabelt unikum, och på många sätt fortfarande ett mysterium.
Jag kan inte fånga din berättelse.
Men vad jag längtar efter att höra dig berätta den själv.
0
25 Comments
My wife and i got absolutely joyous that Ervin managed to carry out his basic research out of the precious recommendations he got using your web pages. It’s not at all simplistic to just always be making a gift of helpful tips that men and women have been selling. And we realize we now have the website owner to thank for this. All the explanations you have made, the straightforward site navigation, the relationships you will make it possible to engender – it’s all great, and it’s assisting our son and us understand this topic is thrilling, which is exceptionally mandatory. Thank you for the whole lot!
Thanks for your entire labor on this web page. My mother enjoys carrying out internet research and it’s obvious why. A number of us hear all relating to the lively tactic you produce simple tactics through your website and strongly encourage participation from some others on this area of interest plus our own simple princess is learning a lot. Take advantage of the rest of the year. You are performing a pretty cool job.
I’m commenting to let you understand what a extraordinary encounter my wife’s daughter obtained viewing your webblog. She figured out a wide variety of pieces, which included how it is like to possess an amazing coaching mindset to make a number of people really easily know some very confusing matters. You really exceeded our own desires. Many thanks for delivering the warm and helpful, safe, explanatory and in addition fun thoughts on this topic to Jane.
Can I just say what a relief to search out somebody who really knows what theyre speaking about on the internet. You definitely know the way to carry an issue to gentle and make it important. Extra folks have to learn this and understand this facet of the story. I cant consider youre no more standard since you positively have the gift.
My wife and i have been really joyous that Chris managed to do his analysis while using the precious recommendations he discovered through your site. It’s not at all simplistic to simply happen to be releasing strategies that most people might have been trying to sell. And we also consider we have got the website owner to be grateful to for this. All the explanations you’ve made, the easy blog navigation, the friendships you make it possible to engender – it is many excellent, and it’s really helping our son and our family recognize that that concept is brilliant, and that is particularly serious. Many thanks for everything!
I have to express my love for your kindness giving support to persons that need guidance on in this area. Your very own commitment to passing the solution all around became surprisingly interesting and have allowed guys and women like me to reach their ambitions. Your amazing important publication can mean this much a person like me and additionally to my fellow workers. Thank you; from all of us.
I must point out my gratitude for your generosity in support of folks who actually need guidance on that question. Your personal commitment to getting the solution along had become incredibly effective and has really empowered people just like me to attain their endeavors. Your new valuable information entails a whole lot to me and even further to my office colleagues. Warm regards; from everyone of us.
I precisely wanted to thank you so much once more. I do not know what I would have achieved without those points contributed by you over such situation. This was a challenging circumstance in my circumstances, however , encountering the specialised way you managed the issue forced me to leap over delight. I am happy for this work and in addition have high hopes you recognize what a powerful job that you are putting in instructing most people with the aid of your website. Probably you have never encountered all of us.
I actually wanted to compose a note to be able to appreciate you for all of the marvelous tactics you are giving out here. My particularly long internet lookup has at the end of the day been paid with reputable know-how to exchange with my great friends. I would tell you that we visitors actually are really fortunate to live in a fabulous community with so many special professionals with insightful opinions. I feel extremely lucky to have encountered the website and look forward to some more exciting minutes reading here. Thank you once again for a lot of things.
Thank you a lot for giving everyone a very brilliant possiblity to read from this web site. It is always very useful and as well , packed with a great time for me personally and my office colleagues to search your website minimum 3 times every week to read the new stuff you have. And lastly, I am just certainly happy with the spectacular knowledge you give. Certain 1 facts in this post are particularly the most effective we have ever had.
I enjoy you because of your whole efforts on this site. Gloria takes pleasure in participating in internet research and it is obvious why. We notice all of the powerful ways you present vital guidelines through the web site and as well foster contribution from others on this area of interest and our favorite daughter is without question understanding a whole lot. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the new year. Your doing a pretty cool job.
My wife and i have been thrilled that Ervin could complete his studies with the precious recommendations he gained using your web pages. It is now and again perplexing just to continually be handing out procedures which some other people may have been selling. And now we do know we have got the writer to be grateful to for this. Those explanations you have made, the easy site navigation, the relationships your site give support to create – it’s got mostly exceptional, and it is letting our son and the family believe that the subject matter is brilliant, and that’s quite important. Many thanks for the whole thing!
Thanks a lot for providing individuals with an extremely superb opportunity to read articles and blog posts from this site. It is often so pleasing and also packed with a great time for me and my office mates to visit your blog on the least three times every week to see the newest guides you will have. And of course, I’m so always happy with your breathtaking tactics served by you. Selected two areas in this article are unquestionably the most efficient we have ever had.
My spouse and i were really lucky that Albert managed to do his survey from the precious recommendations he made when using the web page. It is now and again perplexing to simply always be giving away solutions that many a number of people have been making money from. And we all know we now have you to appreciate for that. Those explanations you’ve made, the easy website menu, the relationships you aid to instill – it’s got many fabulous, and it’s making our son and our family reason why the situation is brilliant, which is incredibly serious. Thank you for all!
Thank you for all of your effort on this website. Debby really likes getting into investigations and it’s really easy to see why. We notice all concerning the compelling method you render precious tips and hints through the website and therefore improve response from others on that theme and our princess is always studying a lot of things. Have fun with the remaining portion of the new year. You’re the one performing a fabulous job.
I’m also writing to make you know of the terrific experience my cousin’s princess had reading your site. She even learned some issues, which included how it is like to have a great coaching nature to have most people without hassle fully grasp specified advanced matters. You really did more than readers’ desires. Thank you for rendering those helpful, trustworthy, revealing and in addition unique tips about that topic to Sandra.
I precisely desired to appreciate you once more. I do not know the things that I would’ve followed without the entire tactics contributed by you over my question. Certainly was a real depressing concern for me personally, but viewing a professional fashion you managed that took me to cry over happiness. I am happy for the work and in addition pray you comprehend what a powerful job that you are putting in educating others all through your webblog. I am certain you have never come across any of us.
I enjoy you because of your own effort on this web page. Debby takes pleasure in engaging in internet research and it’s easy to understand why. A number of us know all regarding the lively ways you create sensible strategies on this blog and therefore invigorate response from people on that concept and my girl has been studying a whole lot. Enjoy the remaining portion of the year. Your conducting a very good job.
I enjoy you because of all of your hard work on this site. My aunt really loves carrying out internet research and it’s obvious why. Many of us hear all of the powerful method you give worthwhile guidelines by means of the blog and even recommend response from the others about this concept then our girl is really starting to learn a whole lot. Have fun with the rest of the year. You’re performing a tremendous job.
I wish to show some appreciation to the writer for bailing me out of such a crisis. Because of searching through the online world and obtaining concepts which were not beneficial, I figured my entire life was over. Being alive without the approaches to the issues you have solved as a result of your site is a serious case, and those that could have badly damaged my entire career if I had not noticed the website. Your actual understanding and kindness in taking care of all the stuff was precious. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t encountered such a step like this. I can also at this moment relish my future. Thanks very much for the reliable and effective help. I will not think twice to propose your blog to any individual who ought to have counselling on this area.
My husband and i were very cheerful Ervin managed to deal with his basic research through your precious recommendations he made using your site. It is now and again perplexing to simply happen to be giving out concepts which the rest may have been trying to sell. So we do understand we have you to give thanks to for this. Those explanations you made, the simple site menu, the friendships you will give support to foster – it is mostly powerful, and it’s assisting our son in addition to our family consider that the topic is fun, which is certainly especially indispensable. Thank you for everything!
I and my guys have already been reading the best items located on your site and so unexpectedly got a horrible suspicion I had not thanked the blog owner for those secrets. These young men happened to be absolutely joyful to read all of them and have without a doubt been tapping into them. Many thanks for really being so considerate and also for going for certain awesome themes most people are really desperate to be informed on. Our own honest regret for not expressing appreciation to earlier.
Thank you for every one of your efforts on this web page. Kate really loves conducting research and it’s really obvious why. We learn all regarding the powerful medium you present efficient tactics by means of your website and in addition welcome response from the others on the situation while my child is truly being taught a lot. Enjoy the rest of the new year. You’re carrying out a good job.
I as well as my friends appeared to be checking the good pointers on your web site and so then came up with a horrible suspicion I never expressed respect to you for those secrets. All the young men had been consequently excited to see all of them and already have simply been using these things. Thanks for simply being simply considerate and for obtaining this form of fine ideas millions of individuals are really desirous to know about. My honest apologies for not saying thanks to earlier.
Thank you so much for giving everyone remarkably brilliant possiblity to read from this blog. It’s always very lovely and also packed with a good time for me and my office co-workers to search your website no less than thrice in one week to learn the newest secrets you have got. And definitely, I am also usually happy for the good points you give. Certain 4 ideas in this article are honestly the best we’ve ever had.